The world I grew up in
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By Omolola Olakunri
As I sat beside a young mother with her adorable twin babies on a flight from Abuja to Lagos, I couldn’t help but be drawn to them. They reminded me of my own siblings – twin girls and twin boys. And in that split second, all the love I had for my siblings was transferred to these cute and cuddly strangers.
My spontaneous and warm greeting of…Ejire ara Isokun, part of the Yoruba language panegyric of twins, was met with a respectful but restrained smile.
A subtle hint of the caution that’s become second nature in today’s world.
The memory of a harrowing story shared by a fellow passenger a while back, flashed through my mind – a young man who narrowly escaped being roped into a drug trafficking scheme by a seemingly harmless chatty grandmother. The warning from another passenger to keep his distance was a sobering reminder of the world we live in today.
I recalled the story of another young traveler who thought he was doing the ultimate good deed by carrying medication for a friend’s ailing mother, only to discover he was unwittingly carrying illicit drugs.
And another,
The naive traveller who allowed an old schoolmate to share her trolley out of the airport, and who had no idea the friend was already on the immigration radar for drug trafficking. Her trolley was allowed to sail through unchecked. While her friend was subject to rigorous scrutiny. Nothing was found on the suspect, as she had put the incriminating bag on her friends trolley. But it could have very easily gone sideways.. The thought of the near miss gave her panic attacks for weeks. All because she was helping a friend out.
In Nigeria, we’ve seen cases where unsuspecting individuals trying to be good Samaritans, are used to smuggle goods or money across borders, only to be caught and jailed.
The infamous “money rituals” where innocent people are lured into fake business deals or relationships, only to be harmed or killed, are also stark reminders of the dangers that lurk in our society.
No longer do the cries of a baby at the odd hours of the night trigger a maternal response; instead, sleep continues. Fearful of being drawn into something sinister or clandestine.
We’ve become cautious of strangers, even neighbors, and the once-thriving communities have given way to suspicion and mistrust.
In a world where the lines between good and evil are increasingly blurred, it’s hard to know who to trust.
The changing economic challenges and cultural shifts have created a generation of people who are extremely wary of others. And empathy a commodity that can no longer be afforded.
In fact in some communities it is seen as a weakness that is all to easily exploited.
I remember the world I grew up in, and the systems and structures in the community that kept us safe then.
We all knew our neighbours and interacted with them..We virtually spent holidays in the homes of other friends. There was no fear of sexual molestation then, no disappearing children, and definitely no evil lurking in the dark shadows while being sent on errands.
Communities were always sharing bowls of piping hot delicacies either from a naming ceremony, a house dedication, Sallah or Christmas was a time of sharing and joy. Steaming bowls of jollof rice and chicken were exchanged warmly with Moslem neighbors, without fear of poisoning or side eyes. And during Sallah, delicious chunks of well-seasoned ram meat was eagerly devoured. Or helping out with school runs, and rushing to the aid of any that struggled.
It was a beautiful display of community and mutual respect.
But those days seem like a distant memory now. Today, most families don’t even know the names of their neighbors who live just next door. We’ve become isolated, hesitant to reach out or offer help, fearing the worst.
Increased connectivity via social media, and the onslaught of negative news all the time has made us extremely wary of people. Or helping out.
It’s as if there is a perpetual crisis all the time, breeding all kinds of negativity and withdrawal.
We have as a people glorified evil. Celebrated it.. Unbeknownst to us, the very evil is after our own.
Our only defence now is to draw back.. Shut down. And kill all empathy.
Ears of the young have been pulled. Don’t start a conversation with someone you don’t know.
Adults are looking straight on, unpetrubed by the sight of a septuagenarian struggling with her bags, or even a small child involved in an accident. We don’t want to know. We really don’t want to know.
Suffice the day, it’s troubles. No need to take on extra burdens.
As I gazed out the window, tears welled up in my eyes. We’re forced to move on, to prioritize self-preservation over empathy.
With a heavy heart, I wondered: Will we continue to lose our way, or will we find a way to reclaim our humanity? Will we learn to balance caution with compassion, or will fear and suspicion consume us? Only time will tell.
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Write Affairs was created in June 2024 as an extension of Quintessential Strategies Limited (QSL) to meet the growing demand for expert writing services.
Wonderful and it rings so true! Very well written I have to say
True to the times we are in but remembered the world revolves